Ninja Made Easy Week: Hide 'n Seek

Bloggified by Jake on Thursday, February 16, 2006

The most important skill a ninja can have is invisibility, better known to you and me as "hiding." Ninjitsu: The Art of the Ninja actually labels one section in big bold letters: INVISIBILITY. Underneath, however, is added a tiny parenthetical: (The Art of Hiding). I'm not sure how that editorial decision was made. Afterall, it doesn't appear the editor paid much attention to the other 31 pages of this book, or even the rest of the material on the page. The essentials of proper hiding are given the mystical labels of Earth, Air, Fire, and Wood, though those labels don't seem to correspond to much of anything. For example, "Wood" advises you to study yoga, so why nitpick the line between "hiding" and "invisibility"?

For fuck sake, you've already advised children to traverse swamps and castle moats with buckets strapped to their feet! What level of credibility are you trying to protect?Ninjas are easily overlooked whether they be playing the role of "Tree" in an elementary school play, sleeping on top of a hotel ice machine, or crawling through his basement apartment's window because the landlord has padlocked the front door because the rent check bounced again.

In short, there are a few pages that all repeat the same ideas. Be quiet, try to blend in, and don't move around a lot. Of course, if all else fails, there is one tried and true method to assure guards don't see you.Dead guards trigger no alarms.

So, to recap, knocking out a minimum wage flunky who's trying to work his way through DeVry in one punch: good; confusing hiding with being invisible: bad.

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