Ninja Made Easy Week: Martial Arts (Time Permitting)

Bloggified by Jake on Friday, February 17, 2006

As we reach the end of "Ninja Made Easy Week," I reflect upon the last five days and the nearly sixteen people who read my raves about Ninjutsu: The Art of the Ninja. If there are any other bloggers out there finding they are just too swamped with readers and need to make a huge dent in their traffic, allow me to suggest six straight posts (and potentially a seventh) about a really crappy comic no one's ever read.

If it gives you any indication how big a bomb this idea was, Robert, my fellow Ye Olde Blogger, best friend since seventh grade, and person who provided the comic to me in the first place, hasn't even been reading it.

Anyway, as a reader nears the end of Ninjutsu, an interesting, trivial part of the "ninja culture is mentioned.Martial arts and ninjas? Never heard of such a combination, but for the sake of this column, I'll go with it. I thought they just climbed walls backwards and hid behind trees, but if I can't trust the research of writer Peter Brody and editor Michael Lubert, what can I ever believe in again?

In addition to some ninja poses that all involve standing with your legs about shoulder width apart and vary only in the way you position your arms, the men who encouraged kids to learn how to kill armed sentries with one punch and how to traverse bogs by standing on their mothers' mixing bowls share another essential skill of the ninja: disarming a gun-totting enemy.What could possibly go wrong? Some people will say it's irresponsible to encourage children to play with guns and point out about four thousand kids are killed in gun-related accidents every year. What those bleeding hearts don't understand is so many kids who are killed while playing with guns are hurt because they don't play with guns enough. A kid who never gets to wave around a Glock except when dad is passed out drunk is much more likely to accidentally pull the trigger and plug than a kid who only gets the honor all the time.

I have similar theories on drunk driving.

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