Ninja Made Easy Week: Walk Like a Ninj-yptian

Bloggified by Jake on Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Next, it's time to learn how to walk ninja-style. Now don't get ahead of yourself because walking like a ninja isn't as simple as putting one foot in front of the other.Or maybe it is.

What ninjas know that you didn't until now is that putting your hands on other side of your head with your fingers extended renders you invisible, as evidenced by the following picture. Look very closely and see if you can spot the black-haired woman in a red shirt.Look closely. I promise she's there. Can you see her? Of course you can't! She's invisible and if she had a shuriken you'd be dead by now.

Of course, not all ninja-ing takes place while walking flatfooted across an open field. Sometimes someone goes and puts a wall in your way. Should you attempt to climb that wall, you'd have to drop your hand antlers and thus be vulnerable to sighted people. Luckily, we learn the best way to scale a wall without being seen.Obviously, this is a much more efficient method than facing the wall. Much of the theory behind this book seems based on the idea that as long as you can see people, they won't look in your direction.

For example, if you have to pass by a door with an enemy on the other side, you need to look at him, move, and look at him again.It should also be noted, if you plan to break into and sneak around an enemy compound, you would be best off if your enemies never look behind them. Ever. Even when they hear a ninja sneaking around in the room five feet away.

On that note, you don't want to be like your enemies. So learn to look behind you! You can't practice this move often enough. Try it in crowded elevators.Honestly, I spent more time than I should have debating the proper music to imagine in your head. I finally decided it was either "Rolling with Kid 'n' Play" or "Ain't Nothin' Gonna Break My Stride." However, as it was pointed out in the comments, the proper music would be "Baby, Don't Forget My Number" by Milli Vanilli.
Tomorrow, learn how to use mixing bowls to storm a castle!

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