The Stupidest Thing Reed Richards Ever Said

Bloggified by Jake on Tuesday, May 16, 2006

First off, let me clarify I've only read the first volume of Essential Fantastic Four so it's entirely possible Reed Richards has said stupider things than this, but from where I stand, for the following words to pour out of the mouth of "the greatest scientific mind on the planet" in Fantastic Four #20 is bewildering:Wow, what a discovery! Evidence of life from outer space! It's like a big acorn in need of thorough analysis. Just think of what this will teach us about the possibilities of alien life. It's almost as big a deal as what happened two months ago. Remember that Reed?Oh, yeah! The Super Skrull landing in Times Square and claiming the planet Earth in the name of the Skrull Empire. As I recall, he was sent here to prepare us for the invasion the Skrulls had planned about two years ago.

Your remember the Skrulls, right, Reed?Right, right, now it's coming back. You and the rest of the team had to fly up to their mothership, posing as the Skrull undercover unit sent to Earth to mimick you and discredit the FF. You convinced them to call off the invasion by showing them pictures from comics books.

Don't remember? I suppose you have a lot on your mind and shapeshifting aliens coming to Earth is just two days out of your entire life.No, wait, three days. Almost forgot about Impossible Man. What a pest he was, huh? I mean, he's no Doctor Doom, but he still made life tough for a while.

Speaking of Doom, remember he told you that story about those aliens he met after you guys and Namor turned his plan to hurl you all helplessly into space around on him and left him drifting into the void?Man, was he mad when he returned. He almost killed you and everyone else on the team. Good thing you learned your lesson and recognize you can't just go shooting people who pose a threat off into space without there being some dangerous consequences. If you ever tried something like that again, I bet Namor would totally oppose it.

Of course, this isn't really evidence of alien life since it's just a story from Doom. Kind of like how the Watcher told you the story about his home planet when you ran into him on the moon.Anecdotal evidence isn't enough for a scientist of your caliber, so I can understand dismissing those tales. It's not like the aliens came to you, took you up in their ship, flew you to their homeworld where you saw millions more of them, and made you save their race from an asteroid that was on course to destroy their planet.At least not in the last year or so.

Anyway, Reed, I guess what I'm saying is "Best of luck on that acorn thing."

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