Would Don Baylor Buy New Avengers?

Bloggified by Jake on Friday, May 26, 2006

Apparently the latest issue of New Avengers sucks. I also have it on good authority that the sun will rise tomorrow over the eastern horizon and that water is wet. Not surprisingly, the bloggosphere has taken to bitching and moaning. Why, just look at what my colleagues at 2 Guys Buying Comics--two guys whose intelligence I reportedly respect--have to say:

"When will the public stop putting their noses (sic) up BMB's arse and figure out that this is just not a good book[?]"
I haven't heard anyone say this is a good book since the second issue. Not one single person. More on this in a moment.

Further down, Chris can't even work up the enthusiasm to complain. He just asks:
"Are we done yet?"

The better question might be when will people stop buying this book and complaining about how bad it is? Unless Brian Michael Bendis has your daughter tied up in a warehouse somewhere and has vowed to start cutting off fingers and mailing them to you every month you don't buy New Avengers, you are "the public" that is "putting [its nose] up BMB's arse" by spending $3 for a literary kick in the balls on a monthly basis.

I once asked my father, "Why did Don Baylor get hit by so many pitches?" I thought maybe he could impart some observatory wisdom about the slugger's stance that led him to become baseball's modern leader in getting hit by pitches (he's since been surpassed by Craig Biggio).

"Because he liked it," came my father's deadpan reply.

"What?" I gasped. "You think he liked it? How could anyone like getting hit by pitches?"

"If you do anything that many times," he nodded, "you must like it."

On that note, I say anyone who insists on calling New Avengers "Not Avengers," complains about the book every month on his blog, and points an accusing finger at "the public" for the horrible quality of the comic, yet has bought nineteen issues of the garbage in question must be reading crap because he likes crap and has no one to complain to but himself.

If you went to a restaurant for lunch and found a dead roach in the spot where your hamburger was supposed to be, complained, and were told "No, that is the burger!", would you go back the next day?

Maybe you want to give the restaurant the benfit of the doubt because you've had good food there in the past or because you've enjoyed eating other locations of the same franchise. But what if the next day you had the same situation occur? After a week, say they replaced the roachburger's bun with a pile of dog crap. How long would you keep going? Somehow, I doubt after nineteen visits you would still be eating there.

Randy, Chris, bloggers everywhere, either accept that you love being shit on every month or stop paying for it to happen, but shut up about it either way.

Edited to add: Being the lazy bastard I am, I posted this same thing at 2 Guys Buying Comics. Here's the link to go read the comments readers are making there.

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